If you’re in a serious relationship—or have been through one that didn’t go as planned—you’ve probably heard about prenuptial and postnuptial agreements. Maybe you’ve even joked about them or brushed them off as something only the ultra-wealthy need to worry about.
But here’s the truth: Prenups and postnups aren’t just for celebrities or high-profile divorces. If you’ve built some financial stability—or even significant assets—it’s worth thinking about how to protect what’s yours as your relationship grows. That’s where prenups and postnups come in.
Let’s take a closer look at what these agreements are, how they work, and why they might be more relevant to your life than you think.
What Is a Prenup or Postnup?
A prenuptial agreement (or prenup) is a legal contract a couple signs before getting married. A postnuptial agreement (or postnup) is similar—but created after the wedding. Both documents outline how assets and debts will be handled during the marriage and in the event of a divorce or death.
The idea isn’t necessarily to plan for a breakup—it’s to plan for the unexpected, and to be clear about how you both want to manage finances, responsibilities, and ownership.
Think of it like insurance. You don’t buy auto insurance because you plan to crash your car—you buy it in case something happens. Prenups and postnups work the same way. When done right, they encourage transparency and trust.
Why Would I Need One?
It’s a fair question. If you’re marrying for love (as most of us do), talking about contracts and contingencies can feel, well, a little unromantic. But a prenup or postnup isn’t about being cynical—it’s about being clear.
Here are a few good reasons to consider one:
Future Inheritance: If your parents plan to pass down significant assets to you, a prenup can define how it will be treated if you receive it during your marriage.
Unequal Assets: If you or your partner is entering the marriage with significantly more savings, property, or investments, a prenup can clarify what belongs to whom.
Family Business Ownership: Involved in a family-run company or expected to inherit shares in one? A prenup can help protect that business from being divided or disrupted during a divorce.
Debt Protection: If one partner has a lot of student loans, credit card debt, or other liabilities, a prenup or postnup can protect the other spouse from being on the hook later.
Second Marriages or Blended Families: If either of you has kids from a prior relationship, you may want to ensure certain assets are preserved for them.
Clarity in Case of Divorce: No one enters a marriage planning for it to end, but it happens. A well-crafted prenup or postnup can reduce legal battles, emotional stress, and financial surprises down the road.
Ultimately, the goal isn’t to assume the worst—it’s to protect both people and make sure you’re on the same page about the things that often cause conflict later on.
It’s Not a Test of Trust—It’s a Blueprint for the Future
Let’s address the elephant in the room: Doesn’t asking for a prenup mean you don’t trust your partner?
Not at all.
In fact, having honest conversations about finances can be a sign of deep trust. You’re choosing to face potential challenges now, together, rather than ignoring them and hoping they won’t come up later. That’s not cynicism—it’s wisdom.
That said, these conversations can be tricky. Here are a few ways to approach the topic with your partner:
Start with “Why”: Explain your motivation clearly. If you’re concerned about protecting a future inheritance or want to avoid repeating financial mistakes from a past relationship, say so.
Make It Mutual: This isn’t just about protecting you—it’s about protecting both of you. Talk about how the agreement can give you both peace of mind.
Use “We” Language: Try saying, “I think it would be smart for us to have a plan in place,” rather than “I need to protect myself from you.”
Acknowledge the Awkwardness: It’s OK to admit that the conversation feels a little weird. It’s still worth having.
Where a Fiduciary Financial Advisor Comes In
This is where having a fiduciary financial advisor can make a world of difference. A fiduciary is someone who’s legally required to act in clients’ best interest, not their own. They can help you:
Take stock of what assets each of you is bringing into the relationship
Plan for future inheritance and how it fits into your long-term goals
Coordinate with an estate attorney to help ensure legal documents match your financial plan
Guide productive, neutral conversations about money with your partner
Working with a fiduciary advisor early in your relationship—or before tying the knot—can set the tone for clear, confident financial planning as a couple. And if you’re already married, it’s not too late: A postnup can still provide clarity and protection.
Final Thoughts
Prenups and postnups might not be the stuff of fairy tales—but they’re not the villains, either. They can be practical, thoughtful tools that allow couples to approach their future with open eyes and shared understanding. If you’re building a life with someone—or planning to—it’s worth talking about how you’ll protect that life, together.
Love is built on trust, and trust thrives in clarity. A good prenup or postnup isn’t a sign you don’t believe in your relationship—it’s a sign that you’re willing to plan for it with care.
Schedule a chat with a fiduciary financial advisor.
This material was written in collaboration with artificial intelligence (ChatGPT) derived from sources believed to be accurate. This information should not be construed as investment, tax, or legal advice.